An interesting blog

Well summer is almost over. Good or bad? I would have to say I am excited for school some-what. I want to see my friends, but I do not want to do all the work! I hope the school year is a fun one, and I am going to have a great time I hope! Maybe I will meet new friends, and hopefully keep old ones.

The number of viewers I get is going down, I NEED MORE!!! If you read my blog, please tell your friends about it!!!!

CREATIVE  PUNS FOR “EDUCATED” MINDS:

1.  The roundest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2.. I  thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3.  She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A  rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon  of math disruption.

5.  The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
8. A  grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9.  Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
10.  Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11.  A  hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12.  Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13.  Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said
to the other,  ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’

14.  I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
15.  A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’

16.  A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When
his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, ‘No change
yet.’

17. A  chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
18.  It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.

19.  The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20.  The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a
seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22.  In democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your
count that votes.

23.  When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion

Don’t tell me your age; you probably would tell a falsehood anyway
-but the Hershey Man will know  YOUR AGE BY CHOCOLATE MATH
This is pretty neat.

DON’T CHEAT BY SCROLLING DOWN FIRST!
It takes less than a minute .
Work this out as you read .
Be sure you don’t read the bottom until you’ve worked it out!
This is not one of those waste of time things, it’s fun.

1. First of all, pick the number of times a week that you would like
to have chocolate (more than once but less than 10)
2. Multiply this number by 2
(just to be bold)
3. Add 5
4. Multiply it by 50 — I’ll wait while you get the calculator
5. If you have already had your birthday this year add 1759 ..
If you haven’t, add 1758.
6. Now subtract the four digit year that you were born.
You should have a three digit number

The first digit of this was your original number
(i.e., how many times you want to have chocolate each week).
The next two numbers are
YOUR AGE! (Oh YES, it is!!!!!)

DUCKS
IN
HEAVEN
!!!

Three
 women die together in an
accident

 And
go to heaven.

When
 they get there, St. Peter
says,

 ’We
only have one rule here in
 heaven:
Don’t  step on the
ducks!’

So they enter heaven, and sure
enough,

 There
are ducks all over the place.
It is
 almost impossible not to step on a
duck,

 And
although they try their best  to avoid
them,

 The
first woman accidentally steps on one.

Along comes St. Peter with the
ugliest man she ever saw.

 St.
 Peter chains them together and
says,

 ’Your
punishment for stepping on a duck is to

Spend  eternity chained to this
ugly man!’

The
 next day,

 The
second woman steps accidentally on a
duck

 And
along comes St.
Peter,

 Who
doesn’t miss a thing.

 With
him is another
extremely ugly man.

 He
chains them together

 With
the same admonishment as for the first
woman.

The third woman has observed
all this and,

Not  wanting to be chained
For all
eternity to an ugly man, is
very,

 VERY
careful where she  steps.

She
manages to go months

 Without
stepping on any ducks,

 But

 One day
St.Peter comes up to her

 With
the most handsome man she has ever laid
eyes on

 ….
Very tall, long eyelashes, muscular.

St.
Peter chains them together without saying a
word.

The happy woman
says,

 ’I
wonder what I did to deserve being

Chained to you for all of
eternity?’

The guy
says,

 ’I
don’t know about you,

 But
I stepped on
a
Duck.